WRITING WITH A HANDICAP
Heide A.W. Kaminski Copyright © 2002

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My handicap is ADHD: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder --or as I renamed it years ago "A-ccept your D-iagnosis as a H-ealthy D-iscovery". As a creative writer, I just couldn't allow those letters to insinuate such negativity.

Most people with ADHD are--among many other positive attributes --very creative, spontaneous, and never-filled sponges for knowledge, especially the kind of facts that most "normal" people don't easily think of. We have a tendency to dig deeper into everything rather than accepting standard explanations. What better characteristics can you look for in an artist? My choice of art is that of words. Many of us are painters, philosophers, designers and such.

Our handicap is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is generally treated with medication, but behavior modification is my preferred choice. Behavior modification includes avoiding stressors (such as very negative people) and learning calming techniques (mine is, as absurd as it may sound, to get into my van and listen to heavy metal. The beating of the drums seem to literally pound the stress out of my head). Because memory can be extremely short term, I carry a notebook wherever I go.

I see stories at every street corner. I bought a little tape recorder so I could dictate my ideas rather than ferociously scribbling them down while driving. (I still write while I drive…) This passion has been intensified since I became a writer for a local paper.

As we ADHDers are very outgoing and talkative people, I have no fear of going up to strangers and saying: "Hi, my name is Heide, I am a reporter and I want to write a story about you!"

My strength lies in playing with words. A plain title for a story won't fly with me. It has to literally paint a picture for my reader. For example, a man I recently interviewed had the last name "Steele." I converted him into a "bionic man." The story was extremely well received by the community. When I wrote about an historic building in a neighboring town, I began the story by fabricating a reunion of several spirits of famous personalities who had once been in that building. A piece about a massage salon was titled "A Little Piece Of Heaven" and the owner just loved it!

Just this week I wrote an article about recycling. As a third grade class informed me, it takes about 118 pounds of paper to save an average tree, so I took the time to figure out how many of our local newspapers it takes to make 118 pounds, and then how tall of a stack they make. When I asked the newspaper printer for these facts, I had them all stumped. I ended up doing the math myself from one single issue--no small feat for someone with ADHD.

As an ADHD person I am also a very visual person. A street name means nothing to me. I can get lost on a straight road. Describe the trees or buildings and I will forever remember.

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I have to feel every texture, I cannot just look at something, I have to know how it feels. I incorporate all of this association into my news stories.

As strange as it may sound I thrive on stress. In school, I did my best right before an assignment was due. This still holds for my newspaper reporting. I do my best work shortly before the deadline, even if it means staying awake all night and hacking away on the keyboard. As I have a preschool son with severe ADHD himself, the late evening and early morning hours grant me the most uninterrupted time as well.

I do not need much sleep. I may go through the day as tired as a 100 year old woman, but if it's the result of a great story I wrote the night before, then I feel on top of the world despite the way it might appear to an outsider's eyes. I may forget to sleep, eat or pay my bills, and my office space looks like a tornado zone, but I stick to my deadlines!

I write myself lists of things to do and notes of errands to run. They are posted everywhere. The most urgent ones wander from the dashboard in my van to the steering wheel as I park the vehicle (I also carry scotchtape with me). I have difficulties concentrating on a magazine article, let alone a book. But when I write, I "hyperfocus," another quality of ADHDers that can be seen in either a good or a negative way. I totally immerse myself in the keyboard. I do not hear the phone ring or the person next to me talking. I am inside my story with all my heart and soul.

Of course, not everyone likes my style. I have as many rejection letters as the next author. Fortunately, my newspaper editor loves my stuff and so do the readers of the paper.

Recently I read an excellent book written by a nineteen-year-old Australian man, Bejamin Polis. In ONLY A MOTHER COULD LOVE HIM, Polis describes the usual struggle of a typical ADHD child (filled with severe school discipline problems). He proved his doubting teachers wrong by becoming a very successful author. Polis refers to us as raging volcanoes. I have always called my son "Tommy Tornado."

The book had me in tears after reading only a few pages. Tears of laughter--I saw myself and my son being described. Tears of fear--what strugglesome future my son has ahead of him! Tears of sorrow--about all those years I lost due to undiagnosed and non-treated ADHD.

Polis describes his school-age years from the Australian school system point of view, but his experiences, suggestions and recipes for success or failure are universal. I congratulate Polis on his willpower and promising future. He is an encouragement and expression of hope for parents who might be on the verge of giving up hope. He is an inspiration for children who feel as though they may as well give up, because they feel stupid and bad. He makes those of us who share his chemical imbalance laugh at the embarrassing memories.

While I was reading the book, an incident happened that I want to share. I was laughing hysterically and my three-and-a-half-year-old ADHD son asked me what was so funny. I told him "This guy does things that sound just like something you would do!"

"Tell me, Mommy, tell me! What did he do?" my son exclaimed.

I recited the incident about four-year-old Polis, who found the valve to the main sprinkling system in a public park crowded with picnicking people. He turned it on--much to the dismay of all the people and the embarrassment of his grandparents, who were in charge of little Ben.

After explaining to my inquisitive son what a valve and a sprinkler system are, he calmly responded "Well, Mommy, I am only three, so I don't know how to do that. But when I am four, I will definitely try that!"

That's a typical ADHD child--always on the lookout for the next source of attention, no matter how unique or difficult it may seem to others. As the disorder is based on attention DEFICIT, we must fill that need by seeking attention from somewhere, right?

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HEIDE KAMINSKI is a Michigan based mother of four teenage girls and one preschool son. She writes on a regular basis for her community paper, The Good News, specializing in positive community events and prominent local personalities. She also writes a holiday history column for The Interfaith Inspirer.

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Purchase Only a Mother Could Love Him by Benjamin Polis