THIS MONTH'S SHOWCASE FEATURES:

"THE WRITING LIFE"
ONCE, WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKING
by Laura H. Martinez

FEATURED CRAFT ARTICLE
Instant Poet by Penelope Stowell

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ONCE, WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKING
Laura H. Martinez Copyright © 2002

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Once, when no one was looking, I actually got to write something down. I know the words were my own because my muse and my editor were still arguing at the time. It had been an all-out brawl for hours now. The fight was threatening to carry over into the next day and I was the only one feeling exhausted and battered.

In the background I could hear the editor say, "She'll NEVER write anything interesting or inspiring--nothing that anyone would want to read or be able to connect with anyway."

"But I have so many beautiful stories and profound insights for her to get out to the world. If you'd only just SHUT up and let her alone, she'd be able to get it all down."

"Hmpf! She MIGHT be able to get SOME of it down, but what she writes will be all fragmented. She'll use the wrong words, not follow thoughts out completely and tell stories from the wrong point-of-view. And, speaking of points--does she ever really get to one? Sounds like a bunch of blather to me! Why would anyone ever want to READ that stuff?!" Editor flung himself down on the bench beside my chair, crossed his arms and scowled up at Muse in frustration.

Flinging her hands in the air and sighing, Muse pleaded, "At least she TRIES--you have to give her that. She really wants this! She's determined and dedicated--and no matter how many times you frighten her to tears with your incessant nitpicking, she finds the courage to show up at the page again."

"Aww, c'mon, Muse! You know I'm just trying to help her. I don't want her to suffer the embarrassment and rejection when someone reads that awful stuff she spews out on the page. I mean--she sits down and doesn't even THINK about what she's writing sometimes! She should at least read a sentence to make sure it makes sense before she follows it with another that doesn't even connect with her last meandering thought!"

Muse was now pacing the floor behind me and gesturing wildly. "Yes, but that's not how we work together! I give her pictures and feelings and ideas. We frolic through meadows so that she can taste and smell freedom and joy and laughter. We visit dark corners of the human mind so that she can touch and feel and understand despair and anguish and the fury that's beyond reason. We hide and eavesdrop on young lovers and children and spend hours listening to the fragmented memories of the elderly to see and hear the textures and flavors of hope and love. When she touches pen to paper it is THESE experiences that she longs to communicate to others. She catches what she feels is most important from these visions. Taking notes, you might say. Of course, it's not complete the first try!"

Editor sat in thoughtful silence. I felt Muse's hand on my shoulder, giving me comforting reassurance as I prepared for his next blow.

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We were both startled when he vaulted up from the bench and slammed his palm on the table. "I know! I have a GREAT idea! Why doesn't she go out and get the best dictionary, thesaurus and vocabulary-building books she can find? For that matter, how about using all of those word-a-day lists online? We can study for 30 minutes every day because you know her word choices are atrocious. She can't describe what you show her AT ALL. People will end up seeing something totally different from what you intended. Ooooh! This will be fun! She can drag out those old textbooks and we can study grammar, too. People will understand so much better if they could read along easier. Sentence fragments are so hard to place--you really DO need a subject to figure out what it's about. Hmmm... OK, we'll need another 30 minutes for that...and then...."

"Hold it! What are you doing? You're taking up time she needs to write and..."

"She takes forever anyway! Can't she speed things up a bit?"

"Keep quiet, Mister! You interrupted me!"

"But..."

"Clamp it! I was talking! Now what was I saying?" She glares at him. "Oh--and she needs to just put ANYTHING down on paper to preserve the essence of what she's feeling. You can't keep paralyzing her with worries that it's not right or that there's a word she just learned that HAS to be used! And, furthermore, there's NOTHING wrong with her going at her own pace!"

I looked up to see that Muse's hair was hanging wildly in her eyes. Editor was now standing with his nose inches from her face. He pointed at her as he shouted, "It's pure VOMIT that she gets down! Pure, snail-paced DRIVEL! I tell you..."

I sighed and looked back at my page. Pretending to put earplugs in my ears to drown out their voices, I concentrated on the visions in my head. And, when no one was looking, I actually got a chance to write something else down. It was a sentence fragment--but it was MY sentence fragment. And I'm sure Editor will help me fix that later.

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LAURA H. MARTINEZ is a freelance writer in Lancaster, PA. After spending years winning battles against major illnesses, she has taken up her sword in the form of a pen and is fighting more worthy opponents: her internal editor and critic. Humorous articles, short stories and heart-felt memoirs are her victory pennants.